Let’s talk about foods that I want, but can’t have. First on the list is Green & Black’s butterscotch bar. I was reading an interview with British pop sensation Kate Nash (please shut up), where she raved about this high-end chocolate bar, her favorite sweet treat. Because Kate Nash is my secret girlfriend, I decided to follow her lead.
But alas! The Internet had bad news. First, I read the laments of American foodies who could not find these butterscotch bars in the States. They could find the Green & Black peanut, mint, hot chili, just not the legendary butterscotch special. Then I decided these idiots didn’t know how to use the Internet so I started searching around. And sure enough, for some reason there was a trade embargo on the G&B butterscotch. Not A SINGLE SITE would ship them to the U.S.
Nonetheless, every time I’m in a yuppie market, I look through the Green & Black selections on the incredibly improbably chance they will have the butterscotch. And apparently SK scoured the universe trying to get me one for our anniversary. She asked her roommate Claudia to hunt for them on a recent trip to Europe and even had direct contact with the G&B Corporation, begging them to make an exception for her. No dice.
Isn’t it amazing that in this modern age of global connectivity, where everything is accessible with the click of a mouse, there is still a product I CAN’T HAVE?