12:00 pm- I call SK to bitch about the price of saffron while pacing around my neighborhood. As we talk, a limping pigeon catches my eye. Normally my heart is black and small but Pigeon Tiny Tim makes me want to bawl (it’s probably my hangover). SK suggests I buy him a muffin but instead I go home for the stale Malaysian cream crackers I got in Chinatown. Alas, he has gimped away by the time I return.
1:30 pm- Nancy treks up from the Arctic tundra (Ditmas Park) for a late brunch in the rain. Per my request, she brings a tupperware full of mac n cheese, homemade with sharp cheddar and tomatoes. In return, I give her a mini-rum cake with cannoli cream frosting. We put our gifts away for later.
2:00 pm- Our meal is at Sparrow, one of my favorite nighttime boozeholes. Hip and cozy, I dig their roughshod wood-and-tin aesthetic, not to mention their fontina/radicchio grilled cheese on pullman bread. This is my first Sparrow brunch, even though Yelpers (you know how much I trust them) say it’s the best brunch in Astoria.
2:30 pm- I order the brunchburger: seasoned beef on an english muffin with cheddar, onions and a fried egg. BOOM. Quite simply, my meal is phenomenal. The combination of sharp cheese, runny egg, fresh bread and onions creates some alchemy which elevates this burger well above basic pub food. I don’t want to talk while I eat but I’m bad at not talking.
3:00 pm- After my burger and side salad, I’m full but I want to keep eating. I order some coffee and the pain perdu, french toast made from a flattened croissant, topped with melted chocolate and whipped sweet cream. Balls-to-the-wall brilliant. It took all my (admittedly weak) will to offer Nancy the last bite. If she had accepted, I might have forked her.
Side note- the dessert took awhile to come out and Nancy made a funny. She said, “Bitch done perdued your pain, bro!” (Literally, pain perdu means “lost bread.”)
To be cont.