golden ticket (of angst!)

Shortly after writing this post, I languidly Googled green and black butterscotch. I was avoiding dirty dishes; I barely noticed what I was doing. Of course, any reader of teen fiction knows that magic doesn’t happen until we’ve given up hope.

A new listing popped up, from a British shop called Ethical Superstore. SK was all- “Yeah just try it Hirsch. As soon as you ask them to ship to the U.S., the website will shut down and you’ll be arrested.” I knew she was right, but I still went through the exercise of typing in my credit card, address, etc. No bumps in the road. I got a confirmation e-mail, but I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop- “Ethical Superstore is Nigerian lottery outlet. Just wire us PayPal info and you have 100 Butterscotch bar…”

Even when I came home and saw the little box with British customs stickers all over it, I thought there might be a Hershey bar or a kielbasa inside. It wasn’t until I unwrapped the Holy Grail and placed it on my cat (see below) that it began to sink in. I had gotten exactly what I wanted. Time for a full-on existential crisis!

The bar is effing delicious, creamy and rich, peppered with little buttercrunch flecks, but that’s beyond the point. There is an ineffably tragic feeling when I get what I long for. I think I’m meant to keep a few things out of grasp. Otherwise I start to feel like an idle trust fund playboy, spoiled and oversatiated. “Another lobster? How trite.”


4 responses to “golden ticket (of angst!)

  1. the chase is always more satisfying than the catch…i mean, once you “catch” something, and you have what you want, it just means you need to start a different chase, and that takes effort,(deciding what to chase, starting the chase, etc), and let’s face it, we’re a damn lazy generation.

  2. Sorry that our service didn’t disappoint. Next time you place an order we’ll send an empty box just to make you feel better! 🙂

    Glad to hear you enjoyed the G&B – it is gorgeous.

    Andy –

  3. I hate to be “that guy”*, but that sell G&B bars at the local Mr. Kiwi store.

    *no, no, you’re right. I don’t.

  4. Thomas,

    I think it’s the specific flavor Jesse can’t find here.

    They sell those bars in regular flavors everywhere.

    It’s like Carolina bbq Utz, can’t get ’em up here.

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